Week 4

Written on August 10, 2013

Well it has been another interesting week down here in Honduras. I have finally been able to make it out of Santa Lucia for some R and R.  Although I do have to say I feel like I do a lot of R and R in Santa Lucia because there isn’t anything else better to do but I am excited for a hot shower, a night out on the town, and a trip to the grocery store. 

I think this week more than all of the others, I have definitely become aware that patience is a virtue.  My fifth grade teacher, Mrs. Wagner, was not joking when she repeatedly told my classmates and me this time and time again. Monday was a good day.  I went to a nearby school for a class of Yo Puedo (the girls’ leadership program that exists here). Tuesday, I hung out at the clinic.  Wednesday I was supposed to go to a school in Las Marias, but missed the car and Thursday I was supposed to go to a school in San Juan for another class of Yo Puedo but it was cancelled. 

Friday and Saturday in La Esperanza were so fantastic.  I felt a bit guilty about kind of holing up in my hotel room and using crazy amounts of internet to download some TV that I have been missing out on (Woah to The Bachelorette season finale! I kind of feel ridiculous saying that I partook in watching this season but boy was it good.) as well as getting some much needed video chats on Facetime.  It certainly was incredible to catch up with friends and family and reassuring to know that they are still so supportive of me being here.  While I have had some really difficult days, it’s at least comforting to know that those from home trust me and have helped me to refocus and channel some of my frustration.

It’s hard not to be able to tell everyone that I’m having the time of my life here.  I wouldn’t call my experience fun by any stretch of the means but I think it is necessary for me at this stage in my life.  Even in the month that I’ve been here, I think I’ve learned a lot about myself- what I need to be happy and successful, what I need in a work environment, what makes me tick.  I realize that at the end of the day whether I accomplish something really fantastic here or nothing at all, it will have been a positive learning experience.  Sometimes as hard as it is for me to admit, some of the things I have learned most from are the times were I really struggled.  

A day that was fantastic and horrible was this last Wednesday.  Because my visit to Las Marias didn’t work out, I spent the morning watching a bunch of ultrasounds.  From about eight until noon, I observed pregnant women (probably about 10) come in at various stages of their pregnancies. Seeing the future baby up on the computer screen was unreal.  I couldn't make heads or tails of some of it but seeing the heart beat and the faces of the moms when the doctors told them the sex of the babies was unforgetable.  I actually almost cried.  Yes, I know I'm a ham! 

Yet it was hard to see that of the ten, three or four of them were fifteen years old and probably seven or eight of the ten were below age twenty.  I thought about what I had been like at fifteen that afternoon. How stupid and nieve I was.  I couldn’t imagine have a seven-year-old child right now nor how different my life would be and how much growing and learning I still have to do before I think I can bring another human into this world.  It made me sad to realize that the girls who were there were more or less losing the potential of education, at least in the formal setting.  And it made me sad that every one but two came in alone. 

I wondered how long it is going to be before people in Honduras stand up to say that we need to do something about this-  that kids are becoming mothers and wives.  Or that they need to do something about the rich people skimming off the hard-earned dollars of its citizens. Or something about the ten year-old-girl in Tegucigalpa that was raped by two classmates this week, who subsequently commited suicide. Or that the hospital in La Esperanza that asked doctors from our clinic to bring gloves for a surgery because they didn’t have any. Or the fact that kids are only required to go to sixth grade here and many don't even make it until then. Or that San Pedro Sula is the city in the world with the highest murder rate in the world because the country refuses to curtain the deadly drug trade that runs through the country.  I mean I could continue for days with things that enrage me but I won’t.  It’s certainly not healthy to dwell on the negative. 

I guess at times it could even be a little inspiring. Wednesday certainly helped to reaffirm why I'm here.  I am in Honduras trying to reverse the trend of teen pregnancy but I am only one person.  Some days it feels like I’m swimming up the stream a little bit.  Attempting to create a cultural shift is not something someone does overnight, nor is it something that happens in a year.  In one of conversations calling home, a good friend reminded me of how little of a shift there was of peoples’ ideas about sexual assault on our campus in the FOUR years that I was at Lehigh and that I couldn’t and shouldn’t expect to have made a difference in just a month here. She was without a doubt right but it still doesn’t mean that I can’t be frustrated by the complacency that I have seen this far in this country.  That also doesn’t mean I can give up hope just yet either. 

It is hard to realize that anything worth pursing takes time, especially growing up in a cultural of instant gratification (like overnight shipping and midnight movie releases).  I have read reports that say that it took organizations years to come up with curriculum for a specific program. Yet it still doesn’t change my idea that I should have something to show for my month here.  Though as someone told me, I could be here for a year and not feel like I’ve accomplished anything.  I think she was completely on point. 

So I’m sure you have sensed a theme with the end of my blogs and I have not failed to come up with some words of wisdom. This upcoming week, try to exercise some patience on something you have been working on. Take the time to reflect about your project and get a new perspective.   You never know what other people might have to offer.  It might be some great advice or just the little kudos that you needed to hear.

And of course, have a great week!

Becca